The Lab method
Why it’s called a lab
It’s called a lab because you’ve probably already tried the version where you’re supposed to get it right. Here, growth is an experiment. We form a hunch about what’s really going on, you try a small change in your real life, and we look honestly at what happened. Whatever happens is data, and nothing here is graded.
01 · Method
The six steps
Every experiment moves through the same six steps. Nothing is graded, and you can loop back as often as you need.
Witness notice
Notice what’s happening without judging it, and give the pattern a name. “I pull away when someone gets close” is already data.
Theorize wonder why, plan
Get curious about why it happens and how it could go differently. Then we plan it together: which tool, when, where, and what makes it doable in your real week.
Measure score it
Before you try anything, take a baseline: a few simple scores that fit what you’re working on, each with a short note on what it measures. That way you can see change, not only feel it.
Experiment try it
Pick at least one concrete step, from the tools we’ve explored or an idea of your own, and try it in your real life.
Reflect look back
What actually happened? Compare your scores before and after, and notice what surprised you.
Rewrite choose what’s next
Keep it, adjust it, swap it or pause it. No experiment is wasted: each one shapes the next.
02 · Rhythm
Between sessions
You leave every session with something to actually do, not only something to think about.
Change happens between sessions, in the real moments where you get to test what we planned.
How much you take on depends on the experiment and on your capacity that week. Where it helps, we build the unglamorous scaffolding too: rest, sleep, how your week is shaped.
03 · Practice
Built around you
We build the space together, around your pace, your capacity and what works for you. Held first. Then, when you’re ready, we look at the thing you’ve been walking around, because that’s usually where change is.
We check in often on how it’s going, so the way we work keeps adapting to you. I’ll ask before I say the direct thing, and then I’ll say it, including the parts you hoped I’d skip. We’ll laugh too. Humour is part of what makes the hard parts survivable.
I bring what I’ve learned from yoga and breathwork into sessions, in my own way, when it fits what we’re exploring.
The work is chemsex-aware. If chemsex or party culture is part of your life, now or in the past, you can bring it in without explaining the basics or bracing for a lecture. It can be the focus, or only part of the background. You decide.
04 · Evidence
Research, and your own data
We draw on different approaches, and we always come back to two kinds of evidence.
Research
The first is research. Where the evidence is strong, you’ll hear it plainly, and where it’s still developing, you’ll hear that too.
Your data
The second is you: your scores, your notes, what actually happened when you tried something. Your own data counts here, and it shapes every next step.
05 · FoundationsWhat the Lab is built on
- Professional Diploma in Coaching & Mentoring, Kingstown College (ICF-accredited, almost a year of live training): coaching competencies, positive psychology, cognitive-behavioural and conflict coaching, and leadership and career coaching, with 13 assessed coaching sessions
- Love Mastery Certification with Elizabeth Cunningham: 84+ hours of training in queer and non-monogamous relationship coaching, across coaching the mind, emotional and somatic coaching (including shame), gender and sexuality, relationships and communication, plus observed coaching practice
- 12+ years in tech and a MicroMasters in Digital Transformation Leadership: experimenting, measuring and adjusting, the habits the Lab borrows
- Yoga and breathwork: the body-first tools that come into sessions when they fit
Where to start
It starts with a short form about what you’d like to change. I read every one and reply within three days. If we’re a good match, the next step is a free 30-minute connection call.
Not ready for a call? Try the Lab on your own first with the free Lab method guide →